Back in July a friend was having an even at a little place called made in Newcastle. I had a lovely afternoon looking at all the handmade clothes, candles, comics, cards, artwork and eating loads of cake. One of the girls at the shop asked if I was an Artist. I make and occasionally sell art but does that make me an artist? I have no idea. I told her I take photographs which didn't really answer the question because my mum took photos of us as children but I doubt she'd say she was a photographer or an artist.
It was explained to me that I could join the collective if I wanted and exhibit my work. All I'd need to do was contribute to the shop in some way. My answer was "Oh no thank you but I couldn't possibly". I'd just started an 8 week meditation course that was geared around anxiety management because I have periods when I'm afraid to leave the house. Putting work on walls, helping in a shop, talking to people all sounded terrifying and impossible. I was however at that moment surrounded by people who care about me one of whom over heard the conversation. He said I should go for it. I thought he was mad and made my way around the party looking for someone who would agree that I couldn't possibly do it. The thing about true friends is they wont tell you what you want to here. Not one person said I shouldn't do it so I grudgingly and I mean grudgingly agreed to think about it.
I decided that I'd try my best and booked an exhibition slot and some volunteering dates. I spent my days at the shop practicing the anxiety management stuff I'd been learning in my meditation classes. I got through them without frightening any customers. I found it hard to talk to the girls working at the shop because while they were talking to me I was saying "breath in, breath out." over and over in my head. Smiling and nodding is an art when you can hear your heart pounding in your chest. I only did one day a week a couple of times, then it got too much for me but I'd chipped in so I could do the show.
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